I WIll Not Be Your Father Condom

Just because we all love Star Wars and the heart wrenching moment when we discover Darth Vader is Luke’s father doesn’t mean we want children of our own. Strap on one of these bad boys and you will not be a father, although someone might be calling you daddy ;)

Do you want to impress that beautiful woman sitting next to you in class? Have some class and show her your value and disinterest in having children, but your high interest in having sex. It is 2014. Grow a pair and strap up. There is no reason not to. You think Darth Vadar just went around shamelessly raw dogging ever rebel woman on the Death Star? Absolutely not. He has respect and he has a brain and he practices safe sex practices on the regular. He certainly is getting it in, but with style.

Truly a great gag gift for your nerd friend who just lost his virginity or your other friend who can’t seem to stop pumping out children. Here is a hint: it says it right on the package. The I Will Not Be Your Father Condom is an instant classic and a total hit for nerdlings all over. If you can think of a more direct route to convince a lovely Star Wars loving gal to let you use your blaster on her sarlacc please let us at Awesome Stuff know as that information should be disseminated immediately, just like when you disseminate into this rubber instead of into this woman whom you respect the body of. Keep it classy boys.

– Oh and ladies… Keep a couple in your purse just in case. Any self respecting man would be more than happy to unravel the force to save both you and him from potential infestation. May the force be with you all and happy humping.

View on Amazon
$3.95

Check out this adorable Death Star planter. The perfect size for your windowsill, desk, or kitchenette! It will fit one small plant and…

Buy on Etsy
$15.00

Firebox is notorious for having some creative, unique, and interesting items. They have outdone themselves this time with this Mystery Box. We have…

Check it out
$41.59

Engage in the fine art of whiskey drinking with these whiskey Stones. To keep it classy, for the true  connoisseur, there is no…

View on Amazon
$15.00

Tired of looking at a rats nest of wires under your desk or entertainment system? The Bluelounge CableBox is an elegant solution the…

View on Amazon
$27.00

Greet your guests with a splash of humor with this Whalecum Doormat. This witty and whimsical mat is perfect for anyone who loves…

Buy on Etsy
$17.83

Instantly share your memories with tiny polaroids using this Instax Camera. Best of all it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to…

View on Amazon
$109.99

Brighten a friend’s workspace with this illuminating gift! This out of this world reading lamp is powered directly via USB port, and you…

View on Amazon
$8.99