Dick Belt

Available in both light and dark flesh options, these one-size-fits-all masterpieces keep your trousers at bay, but allow you to whip the tail end of the belt out for a guaranteed 12 inches of phallic power. This begs the eternal question: does size really matter?

Check it out
$19.99

There are instances in our life when we can handle complete dicks, douches, and overall ass-hats. Then there are instances where they must…

View on Amazon
$7.39

We’ve found the answer to every true pizza lover’s prayers: pizza flavored lip balm. Treat your lips to this chapstick and you won’t…

Buy on Etsy
$4.00